Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie

Much like Troll 2 and Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star, I had to watch Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie to see if it was actually as terrible as everyone says. Unlike universally agreed upon “good” movies, I feel like there is much less leeway for bad films as they are much easier to spot. A bad film by any other name is still a bad film, and there is no amount of drugs on this planet that would make this film funny.


Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim are given a billion dollars by the Schlaaang Company to make the best movie possible. Against all odds and as surprising as it sounds, they don’t. Therefore, Robert Loggia and William Atherton (their character names don’t matter since you won’t watch this) decide they have to kill Tim and Eric to get the money back, or something. Following a commercial, Tim and Eric try to save a mall in S’wallow Valley to get the billion dollars back. Other stuff happens. I took breaks to get through it. Regrets aplenty.

Within seven minutes I was asking myself if it’d be worth finishing the film or just write a scathing review. Since I’m dedicated to at least getting a half hour into films, I persevered. Dumbass. The only way to get through it is to play the “find the cameo and name the actor” game—I had to search for a few names, but I recognized the faces. It dies down quickly as most of the cameos happen in the beginning—answers to the game are at the bottom.

None of the jokes really land. I mildly chuckled at their instance of breaking the fourth wall, but that was really about it. John C. Reilly continues his Adult Swim streak of finding the weirdest characters, but Dr. Steve Brule is much better than Taquito. Most of the time the jokes assume the roles of dead horses. In the first three minutes the word “Schlaaang” is seared into your brain to the point of frustration and anger.

Just, don’t see it. Tim and Eric must be very affable guys because here are the cameos that I recognized: Jeff Goldblum, Zach Galifianakis, Will Ferrell, Twink Caplan (Clueless), John C Reilly, Will Forte, Ray Wise, Robert Loggia, William Atherton, Matt O’Toole (if you watched CSI in the early years), Michael Gross and Bob Odenkirk.

Beware of the NSFW trailer

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