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Red Riding Hood


red riding hood poster

Frankly speaking, I have next to nothing to say about Red Riding Hood, but since I post so infrequently, I’ll try to put something together after the jump.

Grade:

F

You know the tale of Red Riding Hood, so I’ll start with the positives… Gary Oldman…And we’re done.

Yep, the mere appearance of Gary Oldman, even if he’s harkening back to his crazy Dracula days, is the only positive to extract from this mess. I have said it before, and it will ring true until the end of time: believable dialog is essential to any passable film. Red Riding Hood has next to none. Short, meaningless sentences seem to be the name of the game here and it’s painful. Couple this with subpar acting and you are completely thrown out of the fantasy village that is presented to you.

Red-Riding-Hood_1

Amanda Seyfried is supposed to be a strong heroine in this one, but she simply looks lost and slightly offended throughout; and it’s not just her massive eyes giving that sentiment. Meanwhile. Billy Burke continues his tirade of terrible films following his foray into Twilight and Drive Angry. We even get that tried and true love triangle that is all the rage nowadays. Amanda has to choose between Max Irons, who plays the arranged husband with soft features and a gentle heart, and Shiloh Fernandez, the old friend who looks like a damn villain.

Somehow 16 to Life did a better job casting Fernandez than a big budget “horror” film. In the former, he’s a weird, semi-creepy guy in the back of a kitchen, where the latter has him as a “heartthrob” love interest. I’m sure he’s a nice guy and I feel bad for saying this, but the dude just looks like a slimy, untrustworthy character.

red_riding_hood_2

Hmm, what else. Oh, the end is unexpected (kind of), yet still is underwhelming. The big reveal of the big bad wolf is uninspiring in every way possible. In that regard it fits the film, but there has to be more to the climax of a film than this?! Right? Maybe not.

Just don’t watch it. In hindsight I have no clue what compelled me to tape it. We all make questionable choices I suppose. Maybe I should contact Kumare to help me.

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    • movie snob
    • June 13th, 2013

    ouch — but accurate

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