Archive for the ‘ D and below ’ Category

Lucy Thinks You’re Stupid

lucymxdwn1Let’s be honest. The structure of a movie plot often follows the same outline. Occasionally filmmakers will play with the timeline (Irréversible; Two for the Road) or create something experimental (Stanley Kubrick’s filmography). Since the formula often repeats, viewers can guess where things are going and discern the cause and effect relationship of scenes. That being said, there is usually an unwritten agreement between filmmaker and viewer stating that the film will give clues, but it is up to the audience to find them and solve the puzzle.

Lucy is not that type of movie. Luc Besson’s attempt at answering life’s most meaningful questions is an exposé on the concept of “hear dog, see dog” and an opportunity to give a huge middle finger to clues. Continue reading


Lockout poster

In order to push the plot along movies often use slight tweaks to lead the audience in one direction and help the story get to a certain point. Oh, the kids stuck in a cabin with a serial killer can either split up to “cover more ground” or they can stay together to prevent more deaths from happening. Or how about when the good guy is crowded by seven henchmen who attack one at a time until each one is unconscious. Moments like these are often a necessary evil to get to the climax, but sometimes they can be insulting to the audience’s intelligence—like Lockout. Continue reading

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

ALVH poster

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is a story so farfetched I simply had to watch it. Critics and audiences alike lambasted this film for just not being very good, so naturally my curiosity was piqued. For me, it falls in the same category as John Carter, not as atrocious as everyone would have you think, but not good by any stretch of the imagination. It’s just another in the long list of forgettable action/fantasy films. Continue reading

Friends with Kids

friends with kids poster

It’s a story as old as time, really. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl become best friends. Boy and girl can’t find lifelong significant others so they decide to have a baby together to avoid the toll a kid takes on a marriage. OK, maybe this story isn’t all that old, but since Friends with Kids can’t stick to its laurels, the story becomes as old as time. Continue reading

Red Riding Hood

red riding hood poster

Frankly speaking, I have next to nothing to say about Red Riding Hood, but since I post so infrequently, I’ll try to put something together after the jump. Continue reading

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